My fellow citizens, yesterday we stood united and declared our independence from unnecessary weekend responsibilities. We celebrated freedom. We defended happiness. And we reminded the world that sometimes doing absolutely nothing is an accomplishment worthy of recognition.

Today troubling intelligence has reached my desk. At approximately 0600 hours our reconnaissance teams detected movement along the eastern border. At first we believed it was nothing more than an ordinary disturbance. But our worst fears have been confirmed. Monday is mobilizing. Alarm clocks have been activated. Lesson plans are being assembled. And somewhere an entire classroom of third graders is preparing questions that defy all known laws of logic.

But I say to you today, Lady Kassie, we shall not surrender our Sunday.

Yesterday, a brave Nord warrior answered our call to arms. His courage was unquestionable. His loyalty was unwavering. His identity, however, remains a matter of considerable debate. Intelligence reports suggest he may have been Farkas of the Companions. Unfortunately, even the woman who married him in practically every Skyrim playthrough failed to recognize him. Nevertheless, we thank him for his service.

But today, Lady Kassie, our mission is not simply to defend the weekend. It is to remind you of something far more important. You have shown patience when patience was in short supply. Kindness when the world needed it most. And strength on days when even your coffee considered surrender. You are capable. You are appreciated. You make a difference in ways you may never fully realize. Tomorrow may test you. But it shall never define you.

So let the worries fade. Let the coffee flow. Let the laughter echo from the peaceful hills of the Shire to the frozen mountains of Skyrim. And as the sun sets upon this glorious Sunday, we shall not mourn the weekend's passing. We shall stand tall. We shall raise our coffee mugs high. We shall look Monday directly in the eye. We shall declare: you may take our weekend, but you will never take our second breakfast.

Thank you. This concludes our second presidential address.

P.S. Military intelligence has confirmed that Monday cannot legally invade until midnight. Any premature attempts will be met with a strongly worded complaint, which we will get around to filing on Tuesday.